Ashes of the Past
by obsessionreader
Summary: Guilt ridden, Harry has been presented the opportunity to leave the broken Wizarding World, to escape the present and future. Sent back to 1978, Harry faces a decision, much more difficult than he has ever experienced: If he has the chance to change the future, will he take it?


**Title: Ashes of the Past**

**Rating:** T

**Couple Pairing:** James/Lily; Sirius/OC

**Summary:** Guilt ridden, Harry has been presented the opportunity to leave the broken Wizarding World, to escape the present and future. Sent back to 1977, Harry faces a decision, much more difficult than he has ever experienced: If he has the chance to change the future, will he take it?

**Disclaimer:** I have never been, or will be, the esteemed J.K. Rowling

**Author:** obsessionreader

I have learned that the future can remain ever changing. It is a volatile period, one that must be met with trepidation and well calculated steps. The smallest of ideas and concepts, yet to be formed, can fall apart and fade away with the simplest of actions. One can never truly rely on the future.

One cannot truly trust the present either. For the present, is fleeting. It is like a small puff of a gentle breeze in the midst of a hazy summer. It touches you and then leaves, before you can even recognize its significance. The present, sooner or later, falls into the past, and becomes part of those recollections that you regale to future generations, or the mundane thoughts that fall to that back of the mind, buried under the stress of daily life. The present, it is here and then it is gone.

The past, it is the only true, tangible proof we have to define us as human beings. Emotions and thoughts are all well, but who we truly are can be found in our past. No matter what the past may seem like, it is what wholly, and inexplicably shapes us to the human beings we are today. Without the past - those decisions, disappointments, lost opportunities – we are nothing.

Man, in a sense, is a being created from longing and want. I am no different. I have yearned to fulfill desires, and have long searched to find a cure to sooth the burning fire of want, but we all must come to realize that these pulling factors help us make our decisions, and force us to become who we are. I have wanted, and now wish I could find a way out.

I question myself every day, looking at what I have done, and wonder: "Did I make the right decision?" If I could, would I have done things differently? Would I have made those same choices or new ones that could save so many? Would I gamble the outcome of the future that I have become so acquainted to - that it seems like an old friend awaiting me just around the corner?

The war had taken its toll, physically and emotionally. Everybody lost people they loved, both on the Light side and the Dark. War is a dreadful thing. It tears and gnashes its teeth at you calling for a greater sacrifice, more blood. And soldiers, falling like marionette puppets cut from their strings, screaming until their last breath for justice. Were all my mistakes worth the pain I have caused?

Have no doubt, I have caused this pain. Unknowingly, perhaps, but I have caused the anguish that people bear in their hearts, and the sorrow that they must tote with them for the rest of their lives. I deserve no praise. I deserve no more than to be treated as a prisoner. However, I am not. Everywhere I go their shouts of "Our Savior" echo through the busy streets until soon the sounds of their delighted claps and tearful "Thank you's" resonate off the buildings. I am not worthy of their thanks.

These soldiers fought for a better future, one that emerged from the ashes and rubble as the morning dawn broke, and the sky exploded with the pinks and golds, washing out the bleak and the grey, as the world began filling with color again.

I guess, what I am trying to say is, that although the world is rebuilding itself, and the future seems favorable, was it worth the bloodshed? If you were presented with the opportunity of changing the past, even if it meant jeopardizing the future, would you take it? This was the question that left me vexed; pondering over what was right and wrong. It is the question that helped me rediscover myself from the ashes of the past.

AN: I am a terrible updater, especially as of recently. I will be taking quite a few AP classes, and working part time. Please just try to deal with my erratic updates. I will attempt to update every two weeks, but if I'm late, please don't smite me! ;-D I am also currently looking for a beta, if anybody has suggestions please PM me.


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